Single Mates/Transcript

This article is a transcript of the Weird World: The TV Show episode "Single Mates" from season one, which aired on August 30, 2019.

(the episode starts with Stephanie putting on her coral hoodie, then a leather jacket and she's wearing black jeans, black Converse and a trapper's hat, then Eleanor appears in her pink dress, pink leather jacket, purple Nike shoes and pink cap with her hair dyed rose gold to look a lot like Sadie)
Eleanor Jacqueline: Still fits perfectly.
Stephanie: Man, you ready to meet my friends, Eleanor? Or should I say... Sadie? (blinks twice)
Eleanor Jacqueline: You know it, strawberry. Hope I make a good first impression.
Stephanie: You'll be fine. I can't wait for our date afterwards. OK, all set. Just gotta wait for the...
(a taxi's horn beeps)
Stephanie: Oh, taxi's here!
Eleanor Jacqueline: OK, guys. We'll be back about midnight. Will you lot be OK?
(Craig, Sponghuck, Tyler and Bash are sitting on the couch watching TV)
Craig, Sponghuck, Tyler and Bash: Yep!
Stephanie and Eleanor: Later!
(Stephanie and Eleanor leave the house and Eleanor shuts the door)
(Scooter and Josie walks past the others wearing some fancy clothes)
Scooter: You ready for our date, cherry pie?
Josie: Oh, you know it. Ice-skating, then cinema and dinner at the fanciest place in the city.
Scooter: Yeah, I know. See you later, guys!
(Scooter opens the door for Josie, then he lets himself out)
(George enters the room in a white hoodie and jogging bottoms)
George Jacqueline: Man, I can't wait to hang out with Gary tonight!
Craig: Man, I'm so bored. I'm gonna look for hot stuff on the computer.
(Craig gives Tyler the remote and bounces off)
(Sponghuck and Bash go after him and Tyler stays sat on the sofa)
Sponghuck: I might as well come. I need to get over my marriage from years back.
Bash: I'mma find myself a HOT pepper!
(a Joke Rimshot Drum plays)
George Jacqueline: Bad pun alert! OK, Stephanie and Eleanor hanging out with Steph's friends and then having a date afterwards... Scooter and Josie on a date and Craig, Sponghuck and Bash are... internet dating? And me, I'm gonna spend the night with my best childhood mate Gary. Tyler, what are you gonna do?
Tyler: Oh, just watch TV.
George Jacqueline: By yourself?
Tyler: I've got Green Leopard, Atom-Pup and the fish.
George Jacqueline: None of them talk, though.
(cut to Molly, Mitchell and Mickey)
Mitchell: What did he say?
Mickey: Something about figure of speech.
(cut back to George and Tyler)
Tyler: Anyway, everyone else is doing dating-based stuff. I've never even had a date or fallen in love. Never had the interest.
George Jacqueline: Really? Me neither. That's why I'm hanging out with Gary. *Gasps* I know! You can come along. We can be Single Mates.
Tyler: Single Mates?
George Jacqueline: You know, a bunch of mates who've never fallen in love.
Tyler: OK, that's cool... But, I'm not sure if you wanna know... my secret.
George Jacqueline: Secret?
Tyler: I didn't say secret. I said "deacon".
George Jacqueline: What's a deacon got to do with this?
Tyler: Who cares? Still, I should probably stay. You don't wanna see my night side.
George Jacqueline: Night side? Oh, come on, Tyler. You hardly have fun with us. Just one night. Come on. Let the air touch your body. Whatcha say, man? Please?
Tyler: *Sighs* OK. I'll come with you then. Sounds like it's time for me to spend a night in the city... despite the "secret". Will you let me get ready?
George Jacqueline: OK... Go right ahead? I will stand here and wait nice and patiently?
(Tyler goes off slowly and George starts to feel bored)
George Jacqueline: This is gonna be a long night.
(cut to theme song)
(cut to George waiting outside and whistling)
George Jacqueline: Where's Tyler? I've been waiting out here for 20 minutes. And what does mean by "secret"?
T-Bone: (off-screen) What's up homie?
George Jacqueline: Wha...
(Tyler appears next to him wearing jeans, a leather jacket, white shirt, gold chain and shades and some gangsta rap music plays)
George Jacqueline: Tyler?
T-Bone: Excuse-moi, tha namez T-Bone.
George Jacqueline: Wait... T-Bone?
T-Bone: Yeah. People know me as Tyler durin' tha day, obviously, but at night, well just afta evening, I'm T-Bone.
George Jacqueline: So, you're a gangster? Since when?
T-Bone: Since 1983. And datz top secret, OK? Only a few people know, in fact, only follow gangsters know. And so do you. Don't spill the beans.
George Jacqueline: OK... T-Bone. You... ready to go... and see Gary?
T-Bone: Yeah, I'm ready ta peep at yo' mate.
George Jacqueline: You mean see him?
T-Bone: Yeah, datz exactly when I meant.
George Jacqueline: Let's go then.
(George and T-Bone get into Lambert and get their seatbelts on and George drives into the city and a song called "Where Them Lot At" is playing on Lambert's radio)
T-Bone: Man, I love dis song.
George Jacqueline: Same. It's got very dark lyrics and I don't know how they are able to do this sort of song without profanity.
George and T-Bone: (rapping) ♪ Where them lot at, where them lot at, don't know where I'm getting at, cannot find them, cannot find them, I know that I've been such a scum, want them back here, want them back here, seems like they have disappered, where them lot at, where them lot at, don't know where I'm getting at... ♪
George Jacqueline: Sweet!
T-Bone: Man, you gots dat bad boy pimp rappin game there, George.
George Jacqueline: Thanks, T-Bone.
T-Bone: So, where r' we meeting Gareth?
George Jacqueline: You mean, Gary?
T-Bone: I know who I mean.
George Jacqueline: We should meet him about...
(Gary is standing next to them and George and T-Bone get out Lambert)
George Jacqueline: Here. He's literally standing there... right now. Gary!
Gary: Hey, George! How's it going bro?
(George and Gary pound hug)
George Jacqueline: Just great, Gary. Everything good?
Gary: Yeah. Hey, who's the grandad friend of yours? What's the matter, lost your walking stick? *Sniggers*
T-Bone: Oi! Yo' dare insult an elderly gangsta? Also, I have my stick here. (summons his Russian flag) Don't make me use it.
Gary: Er... what? What's he on about?
George Jacqueline: Oh, you know that more than 2000 year old super team The Extraordinary Eight I told you about?
Gary: You mean the guys you teamed up with to save Weird World from King Axecutioner?
George Jacqueline: Yes. Well, he is part of the team. Everyone knows him as Tyler in the day, but at night, in secret, he is a gangster who goes by the nickname T-Bone.
Gary: T-Bone? As in T-bone steak?
T-Bone: I don't know why I chose dat name, I just saw it on a billboard n' I thought dat sounded top gangsta.
Gary: OK, then. That's... pretty cool, I guess?
George Jacqueline: I know, right? So, with that in mind, let's get this night underway! Come on, Single Mates!
Gary: Single Mates?
T-Bone: Dat be a name he came up wit' fo' our group. It means a bunch o' mates who've neva fallen in ludd or have no romantic interests.
Gary: Err... Erm... George? Listen mate, I don't wanna come off as mean or rude or anything, I mean we've been best mates since 1998, but... is the name really neccessary?
George Jacqueline: Why? Something up?
Gary: Well, the thing with single, and it may not have anything to do with that but... it reminds me of the most terrible childhood ever. I've lived on my own my entire life. My parents abandoned me when I was a few weeks old and I only survived because people dumped wasted food into the box I was in, thinking it was a bin. Since then, I was taken in by a nursery worker and since I was pretty much uneducated, I could never to get on with a normal life and that's why I could never find myself a girl. Girls didn't even like me anyway. I don't have a good life, man. When I'm not out, I just sit in my flat alone, watching TV, eating pizza and drinking beer. With absolutely no one else.
George Jacqueline: Gary... I never knew you were like that. That's so tragic man. Look... We don't have to be Single Mates at all. We can just be... mate mates, like we've always been.
Gary: Really?
George Jacqueline: Yeah. Sorry if I hurt you in any way, shape or form. We cool?
(George puts his hand to Gary and Gary does a low-five with him)
Gary: Yeah, we're cool.
George Jacqueline: OK.
Gary: Great.
T-Bone: Peachy.
Gary: So, with that out of the way, whatcha wanna do first, George? Spray paint messages on the wall or... do a bank robbery prank... or maybe at The Friday Nighttime Chilli Challenge, replace all the milk with jalapeno juice.
George Jacqueline: Why don't we cruise 'round the city? Whilst doing all them other stuff?
Gary: I like it! Wait, you mean all three of us... in your Lamborghini?
George Jacqueline: Yeah.
Gary: George, we can't all go on a cruise.
George Jacqueline: Why not?
Gary: Because there's only two seats. How are all of us going to fit inside?
George Jacqueline: Well, maybe T-Bone can... wait, only Craig can do that. T-Bone?
(T-Bone thinks)
(cut to George and Gary inside Lambert and George is driving, as the song Everything She Wants by Wham! plays)
Gary: George? Is this safe?
George Jacqueline: Oh, come on, Gary, it's perfectly fine.
(T-Bone is sitting on the roof and he's holding a shotgun and they pass some of the citizens and T-Bone does a hand gesture and the sentence "Drive-by flicking." appears on screen; Rigby takes off his sunglasses and some ladies faint)
T-Bone: Oh, yeah.
(George drives smoothly as Gary relaxes and puts his feet up)
(cut to behind the newsagents and Gary spray paints the words "My territory was here" with blue spray paint, George then makes a hashtag with the same can and T-Bone puts "Revolution 9" with white spray paint, then they run off quickly)
(cut to George, T-Bone and Gary watching The Friday Nighttime Chilli Challenge and one of the contestants drinks some jalapeno juice and he breathes fire, but the three laugh, while Gary holds some of the juice and they run off)
(cut to George, T-Bone and Gary wearing black masks and holding Nerf guns, they are just outside the Rainbow City Bank)
George Jacqueline: This is gonna be fun.
Gary: Yeah! But, why are we using Nerf guns instead of actual ones?
George Jacqueline: 'Cause it's a harmless prank.
T-Bone: Isn't dat too obvi... Oh, screw it. Letz just roll wit' it.
(it's not that busy, but the Bank Robbers are inside, trying to take the money slowly)
(George, Tyler and Gary bust through the door)
Gary: Everyone on the floor!
T-Bone: Dis be a bank robbery!
(Everyone gets on the floor, except the robbers)
Bank Robber 1: Hey! We were here first!
George Jacqueline: Wait, wha... Oh, it's those bank robbers again. Aren't they locked up?
Bank Robber 2: Two words - Cloning machine. (takes out a cloning machine)
George Jacqueline: Clo-ning ma-chi... that's four words, isn't it?
T-Bone: No, dat's two. Where did they git a clonin' machine, anyway?
(cut to the Bank Robbers' prison cell and the cloning machine rolls in making a hole in the wall, then they clone themselves before running off and patching up the wall)
Gary: I still don't get it.
(The Bank Robbers cackle and start wreaking havoc, the customers run out and a red cube banker ducks in cover)
George Jacqueline: (summons his bow and arrow) Stand back, Gary! T-Bone and I will handle this. T-Bone, summon your gauntlets.
T-Bone: I don't use gauntlets fo' dis. I use gangsta weapons.
(T-Bone gets out his pistol and nearly shoots Bank Robber 2, but in shock his balaclava comes off and the bullet makes a hole in it)
Bank Robber 2: Next time we go golfing, I'm gonna wear balaclavas.
Bank Robber 1: Why?
Bank Robber 2: In case I get a hole in one.
(a Joke Rimshot Drum plays)
George Jacqueline: Bad pun alert.
(George fires an arrow at Bank Robber 1 and his shirt gets stuck to the wall with him hanging)
Bank Robber 1: Ahh! Get me down, you moron!
T-Bone: Perfect. Naw, fo' somethang a lil' bit painful.
Gary: Guys, even though I'm hip, I strongly suggest we just call the police and let them handle it.
George and T-Bone: Shut up, Gary!
Gary: Sorry.
T-Bone: OK, no mo' games.
(T-Bone throws a grenade at the Bank Robbers and Bank Robber 2 tries to walk away slowly, while whistling)
Bank Robber 1: Don't leave me!
Bank Robber 2: Boss, I think it's time we...
(T-Bone snaps his fingers and the grenade explodes and the Bank Robbers are thrown away from the bank, leaving a huge hole in it and debris lying about)
Gary: We really should have just called the police.
(cut to Laptol, an air freshener, breaking out of a police van and starts to run off)
Laptol: Yes! Huh?
(The burglers fly into Laptol and push him back into the police van, ending up inside too, the van tilts forwards and the doors shut; Laptol growls in anger and Petey is watching them)
Petey: Err... Lucas?
Lucas: Yeah?
Petey: Do you remember picking up an arsonist and two burglers?
Lucas: Not really.
(cut to Bronzebrow, the bank's manager, giving George, T-Bone and Gary $100 each)
Bronzebrow: On behalf of the bank. Thank you so much.
George Jacqueline: Sweet. And no bother, glad to help.
T-Bone: N' thanks fo' da cabbage.
George Jacqueline: You do know that was a prank earlier, right?
Bronzebrow: You three yes, but them robbers were actually attempting to rob the place.
George Jacqueline: Yeah...
Gary: Anyway, we better go.
George, T-Bone and Gary: Thanks, again.
(George, T-Bone and Gary leave the bank)
Bronzebrow: Well, I can say the bank wasn't damaged again.
Banker: Err... sir?
Bronzebrow: What?
(there's a large hole in the wall and debris is laying about)
Bronzebrow: Again?!
(the Banker piles some debris to try re-building the wall, but more bits come off)
Banker: Just fine.
(cut to George, T-Bone and Gary riding Lambert again through the streets and passing many citizens)
George Jacqueline: Well, we're $100 richer and we've had a belter of a time tonight. You wanna do a couple more stuff?
Gary: Sure. What shall we do now?
T-Bone: Hmm... I guess we could git ta my Secret Gangsta Hut.
(George breaks Lambert and takes a few seconds to stop, then he takes off his head and puts it out the window facing T-Bone)
George Jacqueline: You have a Secret Gangsta Hut, T-Bone?
T-Bone: Yep. Yo' got dat right.
George Jacqueline: Well, can you guide the way to this "Secret Gangsta Hut" then?
T-Bone: Can do.
(cut to George driving on a stretch of road and past a sign with the logo of the Strawberry Mall on it)
Gary: Hang on, what did that sign say back there?
George Jacqueline: I think it said "Strawberry... Mall?"
(they arrive at the Strawberry Mall, which is still open)
Gary: Wait, why are we at the Strawberry Mall?
George Jacqueline: I know, right? I never really come here unless it's Christmas time. They have great offers and great items around that time.
T-Bone: Git round tha back.
George Jacqueline: OK.
(George drives Lambert around the back of the Strawberry Mall and pulls up near to a bodyguard called Gunto; the three get out or off Lambert and walk towards Gunto, who snarls quietly)
T-Bone: Eh! What up, Gunto?
Gunto: 'Sup, T-Bone? Yo' wack, though?
(T-Bone and Gunto do a gangster handshake and a few gestures)
Gunto: Git ahead in, gangsta. Wait, wait, wait. R' 'em, like, mates o' yours?
Tyler: Oh, yeah. They're cool. Dis be George n' dis be Gary.
George Jacqueline: Hey.
Gary: What's up?
Gunto: Well, normally I tell someone like dem two ta beat dat, but since yo' like trust 'em n' dat, git right ahead... all three o' yo'.

Single Mates/Transcript

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